Time Passes: Reflections after Two Months

It has been nearly two months since my surgery, and life has largely returned to normal.  I’m aware of just a couple physical consequences of my operation.

I should still not lift things too heavy (although the definition of “too heavy” gets heavier each week).  Also, I still like to take afternoon naps when I have the opportunity, but it’s now more a desire than a need.  I’ve come to enjoy them, but don’t often find the time.

The psychological vestiges of the donation are more complicated to sort out.  I do feel a bit of a let-down that the excitement of the adventure has passed.  On the other hand,  I think having done this has improved my self-esteem, and I’ll take all I can get.  If this has helped me be more forgiving and accepting of myself and others, I’ll take that too.

It’s been nearly four weeks since my last blog entry.  Why so long?

I’m aware of at least some of the reasons.

There’s no urgency.  There’s less to write about and plenty of time to write it, so it’s easy to put off.

Also, I’ve been busy catching up with work.  I’m thankful that my clients didn’t need me during the few weeks of recovery, and even more thankful that they do need me now.

Perhaps most of all I feel ambivalent about the future of my blog.  How and why should it continue?

Maybe I won’t add much more to it.

Maybe I’ll set a new goal or two for the blog, now that a couple old goals have been met.

I had hoped to get more experience writing.  I did.  It became easier to write than when I first started it.  In fact, my first blog entry went through eleven drafts over seven months!  Meanwhile, I was noting in a diary things I’d want to write about once I finally got the blog started.  And once I did, the writing sped up.  But now that the anticipation and immediate aftermath of the donation are over, it’s been more difficult again to resume this writing.

Another goal was that my story might encourage others to consider making such a donation, and a couple people have told me that they are now considering it.  Two may not seem like a lot, but consider this:  there are only a few hundred altruistic kidney donors each year in the entire country, an average of less than a dozen per state.

How can more who are called to do this recognize that call and take action?  Suggestions are welcome.  I really do wonder why more people aren’t doing this, especially after my donation, because now I know what a wonderful experience it is.  As many donors have said, I would love to give away another spare kidney – if only I had one.

About Ray Mueller

Husband, father, Christian, pro-life, kidney donor, video producer & editor
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5 Responses to Time Passes: Reflections after Two Months

  1. Jeff Smith says:

    Thanks for your blog. I am a sixty year old guy who just got approved to donate my left kidney and now am with NKR. It’s nice to see your faith shine through. My wife is an RN who told me that standing by will be a bit harder for her due to her experience in seeing possible complications. In any case, I too told her she has veto power if this is too much. She’s been with me every step of the way. Waiting for a match. Thanks again and a prayer for good health.

  2. Ray Mueller says:

    Congratulations, Jeff! It will almost certainly be a wonderful experience. I haven’t heard of any donors who regretted the decision to do this. You are in good hands with NKR, who will make the most of your donation, and Diane there will be very helpful and supportive. God’s blessings to both of you. I’ll remember you in prayer as well.

  3. Terry Spinowitz says:

    The most important result of your blog has been in showing possible donors how amazing it can be to be able to give a part of oneself to another. The kidney which is donated from a living donor will last longer and have greater chances of not being rejected. As my husband is currently waiting for a kidney, we have begun the process of speaking to anyone we know to try to get an altruistic donor as he would otherwise have to wait between three and six years for a cadaver kidney. You have shown that one can make a difference in the life of another by your writings. Don’t stop writing this blog – it has give me great hope. Terry Spinowitz

    • Ray Mueller says:

      Thanks, Terry. I will remember your husband and your family in prayer. May I also suggest to any healthy readers of this blog who might be considering whether you are called to donate your spare kidney, well, here is a need for one! God’s blessings to you and yours, Terry.

  4. Pingback: Called to Give, Blessed to Receive | Ray Mueller


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